Three years ago today was, what I thought at the time, one of the worst days of my life. It was cold, overcast, snowing off and on, and...I was laid off from a job I had been at for over 6 years. HR came to my desk, told me I was no longer needed due to “budget cuts” and then walked me outside. I was literally left out in the cold, holding a box with my personal items from my desk. I had never been laid off before, so to say it hurt was very much an understatement. I felt the lowest of the low.
I spent the next year traveling and visiting friends and family that I hadn’t had the chance to visit much prior. My long term boyfriend and I even took a much needed vacation, and went to Spain for a week. During that year, I also focused on myself. I focused on what I wanted to actually be doing, and WHO I wanted to do it for. I redirected all the hurt I felt from a company with people who didn’t care about me and what I did, and poured it into learning the skills I needed to do something I loved and eventually start my own business.
Today, looking back at me 3 years ago standing in the cold with tears running down my face, I realize just how miserable I was at that job. And that while I was hurt and scared of the future and the “what now”, I realize some of those tears were actually tears of relief. Relief that I didn’t have to go back to a place that was so toxic the next day. Relief that I didn’t have to put up with being criticized about things that had nothing to do with my job. Relief that I wasn’t going to be told I should feel “grateful” to be working there at my next performance review.
Every time I say I am thankful for the families I’ve been able to work with, I mean it. I am so thankful that I am able to create memories that will be cherished. That I am trusted enough to be welcomed into your homes and work with your most precious being, your newborn baby. That I am respected enough that my families then recommend me to their friends and family. I am so humbled to be sitting here today, growing my own business. I've met several other photographers that are more about community than competition, and have been so supportive in my journey.
As my friend reminded me this afternoon, with rejection comes redirection. I am so glad I was shoved out into the cold 3 years ago, so that I could be where I am today. I look forward to my future. I look forward to meeting new families and continuing to work with my current families as their babies grow.
